Doedermara

My Reagan Tribute

via Andrew Sullivan, yet still worthy to post here in its entirety.

Transcript of a press conference by Larry Speakes, presidential spokesman, on October 15, 1982:

Q: Larry, does the President have any reaction to the announcement from the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta, that AIDS is now an epidemic and have over 600 cases?
MR. SPEAKES: What's AIDS?
Q: Over a third of them have died. It's known as "gay plague." (Laughter.) No, it is. I mean it's a pretty serious thing that one in every three people that get this have died. And I wondered if the President is aware of it?
MR. SPEAKES: I don't have it. Do you? (Laughter.)
Q: No, I don't.
MR. SPEAKES: You didn't answer my question.
Q: Well, I just wondered, does the President ...
MR. SPEAKES: How do you know? (Laughter.)
Q: In other words, the White House looks on this as a great joke?
MR. SPEAKES: No, I don't know anything about it, Lester.
Q: Does the President, does anyone in the White House know about this epidemic, Larry?
MR. SPEAKES: I don't think so. I don't think there's been any ...
Q: Nobody knows?
MR. SPEAKES: There has been no personal experience here, Lester.
Q: No, I mean, I thought you were keeping ...
MR. SPEAKES: I checked thoroughly with Dr. Ruge this morning and he's had no - (laughter) - no patients suffering from AIDS or whatever it is.
Q: The President doesn't have gay plague, is that what you're saying or what?
MR. SPEAKES: No, I didn't say that.
Q: Didn't say that?
MR. SPEAKES: I thought I heard you on the State Department over there. Why didn't you stay there? (Laughter.)
Q: Because I love you Larry, that's why (Laughter.)
MR. SPEAKES: Oh I see. Just don't put it in those terms, Lester. (Laughter.)
Q: Oh, I retract that.
MR. SPEAKES: I hope so.
Q: It's too late.

Reagan didn't cause AIDS. Reagan isn't responsible for its spread or even for every word someone in his administration muttered. But he was responsible for setting the tone. And this was the tone -- by action or by silence -- he set.

Madonna Concert Set List

The Beast Within (intro)
Vogue
Nobody Knows Me
Frozen
American Life
Express Yourself
Burning Up
Material Girl
Hollywood - Video Interlude
Hanky Panky
Deeper And Deeper
Die Another Day
Lament
Bedtime Story - Video Interlude
Nothing Fails
Like A Prayer
Don't Tell Me
Mother And Father
Imagine (John Lennon cover)
Into The Groove (with bag pipes intro)
Papa Don't Preach
Crazy For You
Music
Holiday

France Finds One American Slob It Can Stand

Congrats to Michael Moore for winning the Palme d'Or at Cannes this weekend for Farenheit 911. Please hold for sarcasm. Sarcasm on. I really hope this helps the movie get distributed in America -- because those Weinsten brothers don't hold any sway in that regard at all. Score one for the little guys. Sarcasm off.

There's probably a lot of great stuff in the film, and I look forward to seeing it, rather than reading about it from people who have -- or more often, hearing praise and criticism already from people who haven't. Lots of my fellow liberals seem to think it's going to be this huge eye-opening moment for the American public and that its recent publicity and success further cement that fact. I don't think winning a French award on a jury helmed by Quentin Tarantino will help the film's status in the eyes of John Q. Patriot, but whatever.

I believe Shack at BitchPanic put it best when he wrote:

I don't care that I'm just as politically liberal as Michael Moore. There's a point in the movie [Bowling for Columbine] where he harangues a police officer in Los Angeles about the smog and keeps asking him why he doesn't arrest whoever is responsible. I was watching this, thinking to myself, "I'm sorry, does that van you guys have been driving around in operate on your smug sense of superiority?"

Though you can't separate the two, I respect Moore as Filmmaker but find Moore as Political Entity dangerous to the Cause. What cause? Any cause he gets behind. Hell, he even made the rude practice of the orchestra cutting you off at the Academy Awards seem palatable.

A New Confederacy of Dunces

A group of Christian activists, declaring same-sex marriage in Massachusetts the "straw that broke the camel's back", have begun an effort to have one state -- they've chosen South Carolina over runners-up Mississippi and Alabama -- secede from the union to become its own sovreign Christian state.

And you know what I say, with apologies to the good people of South Carolina:

Onward Christian Soldiers! Good luck! God bless!

Seriously, kids, go ahead. Mobilize. Organize. Force us to take a star off the flag. (Maybe we'll just finally add DC or Puerto Rico to spite you.) The Palmetto State is a small price to pay.

While I have family in South Carolina, they can just move a couple miles north to Charlotte if they want to keep their citizenship. I have great memories of the state as well -- though many of them involve a trip to the waterslides of Heritage USA --the Christian-themed amusement park built by Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker pre-Jessica Hahn and it's a decaying ghost town now. While South Carolina still has a lot to offer -- for example, Myrtle Beach and half of Carowinds (the amusement park is in both North Carolina and South Carolina -- I found it fascinating to be able to straddle the line and be in two states at once), I think we can do without it to get rid of these dumbasses.

And I don't say this because I'm an anti-Christian bigot. Or even because I'm anti-bigot. I say this because I'm anti-dumbass -- and while we can't herd all the dumbasses up and put them in a camp, if they choose to move to the same place, I'll be sure to hold the door open, even if I do let it hit them in their dumbass ass on the way out.

Dumbass too harsh? Though their website provides plenty of proof, I'll let these three points speak for themselves:

1) The website refers to the once-trend-setting, now-trend-chasing music network as "MTv" -- perhaps the lower case "v" reflects the fact that the network doesn't show videos any more or lacks vision -- but I'm pretty sure it's just stupidity.

2) The exodus to South Carolina will take place either when they have 50,000 people as Level 1 members (committed to move no matter what) or 50,000 people as Level 1 or Level 2 members. Level 2 members are people who are committed to move -- but only after gay marriage has been legalized nationwide. So though the organization fully believes that the United States can no longer be saved as a whole (due in part to the influence of "MTv") and that they "must fulfill [their] responsibility to stand for God's laws in the face of evil" -- they'll do it on our gay agenda timetable if they can't make a real commitment. Dumbasses.

3) Though they have a plan to secede, they don't really have an idea on how the country might succeed. When asked group president, math teacher, and cell phone dealer Cory Burnell says:

"Independence first, details later."

Not exactly an awe-inspiring quote from the wannabe Founding Father.

* * * * *

"We have solved, by fair experiment, the great and interesting question whether freedom of religion is compatible with order in government and obedience to the laws. And we have experienced the quiet as well as the comfort which results from leaving every one to profess freely and openly those principles of religion which are the inductions of his own reason and the serious convictions of his own inquiries." --Thomas Jefferson.

Nearly 200 years later, for better or for worse, I'll stick with what Jefferson set-up as the target. But if Christian Exodus wants to make a run for the borders and re-mount the bulls-eye, be my guest.

And anyway, just think how cool it would be for Carowinds to be in two COUNTRIES at once -- one saved, one damned. Hell Heck, they even might find somebody to re-open Heritage USA.

Trends Come in Threes -- Metrosexual Deathwatch Edition

Thursday Night:

Monday:

Who's next?

(For the record, Jack Klugman is still alive.)

SD-Sucks

So I was a little interested in the upcoming fall ABC drama Desperate Housewives -- a soap set in the suburbs but told from the POV of a dead, possibly murdered, desperate housewife. The best part was that the dead wife is played by Sheryl Lee -- who played the also-dead Laura Palmer on Twin Peaks.

But it will have to be even better than Twin Peaks to overcome this.

It's replacing Alias.

In fact, it'll have to be good like Twin Peaks meets The OC meets a Doctor Who/Star Trek:The Next Generation crossover episode. And we all know nothing can be THAT good.

Okay, it's not exactly replacing it. But Alias won't be back until January where it's full season will air without repeats or skipping weeks. The latter is cool -- waiting 6 months for new episodes, however, not so much.

More on this later when I calm down.

When Dylan Met the Phantom

Luke Perry's starring in a stage version of When Harry Met Sally in London...

(I pause to review this line -- a clause of only 14 words but yet so many bad ideas.)

Anyway, during a performance Sunday, an ornate chandallier fell to the stage, raining plaster shards from the ceiling, injuring 15 people.

No one seems to suspect foul play -- but if Jason Priestley wasn't on Tru Calling this season, we'd all be a little curious if he hadn't quite recovered from his accident as reported and was instead masked, scarred and sabotaging his fellow 90210er's production. Come to think of it, where's Emily Valentine? Or, for that matter, Shannen Doherty?

Fruit Loops

Doedermara friend and Oscar correspondent Mel, who obviously didn't mind the pink prom dress tearfest following the Shakespeare in Love win of a certain actress, asks:

You know, I used to respect Gwyneth Paltrow. She seemed very intelligent (despite letting Brad Pitt get away) and sophisticated. And then she names her child . . .Apple?

Possible explanations:

1) In school, when learning the alphabet, the kid will be a rock star bigger than her dad because the spotlight will be on her when "A is for Apple" This will prevent her from being ignored and growing up with low self-esteem -- just in case being Gwyneth Paltrow's offspring won't do that.

2) Perhaps they're waiting for a son to name Jack -- "A is for Apple, J is for Jack" -- and a promotional deal with Kellogg's.

3) A similar promotional deal might have allowed them to hand out free iPods like cigars.

4) "They say Eve tempted Adam with an apple/But man I ain't going for that/I know it was her pink Cadillac/Crushed velvet seats/Riding in the back/Oozing down the street/Waving to the girls/Feeling out of sight/Spending all my money/On a Saturday night"

#4 isn't actually a reason; I just started thinking of this song and realized how creeped out the lyrics are and thought I'd share.

UPDATE:

5) Reminding me that Chris Martin is the baby's father, making the kid's full name Apple Martin, Mel points out that this is just one vowel shy of "Apple Martini" which is the best explanation yet! Is there a promotional career with Pucker in the works? Or is the name just a reminder of the child's alcohol-soaked conception? Only Gwynnie knows.

Fun With Graphics

Postings been slow lately and I don't have a good excuse like "I was entranced by the potential First Daughter's breasts at Cannes." (click here to see the whole rack) Blinded by his own Kerry-hatred, Mickey Kaus seems to think this dress means that Kerry has written off the socially conservative Southern vote. I say when it comes down to it, in the privacy of the voting booth, we all love breasts. (Two sets of breasts getting married is what's up in the air for the majority -- but more on that later.) It's up to you, America, to decide. (That's me doing my best Seacrest impersonation -- though it probably doesn't work as well without the seemingly bleached teeth and flat-ironed blonde highlights.)

* * * *

This ad keeps coming up when I check out conservative skewing sites like Drudge.

Given the prevalence of digital imagery in the current controversy, I find the giveaway either ill-timed or sheer genius, depending on the intent.

* * * *

Speaking of Iraq's Next Supermodel, how soon is it until Fox tries to get Lynndie England for season two of The Swan?

* * * *

After receiving a dubious email forward about a woman who dies of a heart attack after a case of "mistaken rapture", I stumbled onto this graphic:

I fear a world where someone would see this as inspirational.

* * * *

Speaking of the collapse of western civilization, marriage minded gays can take their marriage minded ways to Massachusetts which brings me to two points:

1) Zell Miller's recent rant about Kerry being an 'out-of-touch ultraliberal from Taxachusetts' fell flat not just because it's an anti-Democratic screed older and about as relevant as jokes about Jimmy Carter's pills, but also because the more informed pundits of the world can quickly point out that not only are the citizens of Massachusetts less taxed than those of Miller's Georgia, but they also contribute more than they take from the federal government, also unlike Georgia. So without "Taxachusetts" to use as a slam, how soon is it until someone (probably not the Senator, though one never knows what that crazy fuck might say -- especially since he's now comparing the torture at Abu Ghraib to having to shower in gym class) brings "out-of-touch ultraliberal from Fagsachusetts" into the vernacular?

2) I love all the old lesbians who have been married in the eyes of everyone but the law longer than I've been alive that are trotted out for the Today show, but I've got to admit that this picture spoke to me more: