Doedermara friend and Oscar correspondent Mel, who obviously didn't mind the pink prom dress tearfest following the Shakespeare in Love win of a certain actress, asks:
You know, I used to respect Gwyneth Paltrow. She seemed very intelligent (despite letting Brad Pitt get away) and sophisticated. And then she names her child . . .Apple?
Possible explanations:
1) In school, when learning the alphabet, the kid will be a rock star bigger than her dad because the spotlight will be on her when "A is for Apple" This will prevent her from being ignored and growing up with low self-esteem -- just in case being Gwyneth Paltrow's offspring won't do that.
2) Perhaps they're waiting for a son to name Jack -- "A is for Apple, J is for Jack" -- and a promotional deal with Kellogg's.
3) A similar promotional deal might have allowed them to hand out free iPods like cigars.
4) "They say Eve tempted Adam with an apple/But man I ain't going for that/I know it was her pink Cadillac/Crushed velvet seats/Riding in the back/Oozing down the street/Waving to the girls/Feeling out of sight/Spending all my money/On a Saturday night"
#4 isn't actually a reason; I just started thinking of this song and realized how creeped out the lyrics are and thought I'd share.
UPDATE:
5) Reminding me that Chris Martin is the baby's father, making the kid's full name Apple Martin, Mel points out that this is just one vowel shy of "Apple Martini" which is the best explanation yet! Is there a promotional career with Pucker in the works? Or is the name just a reminder of the child's alcohol-soaked conception? Only Gwynnie knows.
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